I’m getting used to life in the country…

So yes, last night.

Midnight: silence of the lambs, or rather a “WTF is wrong with you?” bellowed from my window in the general direction of the field of sheep over the road.

12:10 am: horse joins in.

12:25: half a dozen owls come to see what’s going on and start noisily discussing the matter.

12:40: A fox trots up the drive laughing its bollocks off.

01:00: Huzzah! Silence!

01:20: An alarm goes off somewhere. Not just any alarm. No. One that practically causes the battery in my hearing aid to detonate (fortunately it was on the dressing table, small blessings).

01:50: My bed, which clearly hasn’t been put back together properly by those banana concealing removals men, collapses beneath me…

Is it too early for gin? 🍸🍸